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How to tell you're a fundamentalist Christian - Open Knowledge — LiveJournal

Aug. 25th, 2006

01:29 pm - How to tell you're a fundamentalist Christian

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Probably old to some of you, but new to me:

10. You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.



9. You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8. You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7. Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6. You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5. You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4. You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3. While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2. You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1. You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

Comments:

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From:new_iconoclast
Date:August 25th, 2006 05:41 pm (UTC)
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With the possible exception of #2, none of these really apply to Latter-day Saints. They are all partly on the list of reasons why I am no longer Catholic and could never have been a fundie, though.
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From:crasch
Date:August 25th, 2006 06:00 pm (UTC)
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Huh? I'd say 1,5,6,7,9, and 10 also apply to most Mormons. Not to mention the logical and evidential problems unique to Mormonism. (Such as the lack of independent archaeological support for Mormon claims about the Americas or the the fact that the papyrii from which the PofGP was "translated" turned out to be the funeary papers of a minor egyptian noblewoman.)
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From:new_iconoclast
Date:August 25th, 2006 06:53 pm (UTC)
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I've never lived in Utah; those may be issues with a lot of the people I go to church with here, but they aren't topics that we spend a lot of time worrying about. They aren't personal issues for me; I tend to be an evolutionist. But I don't make a point of advertising it. ;)
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From:herbaliser
Date:August 25th, 2006 07:38 pm (UTC)
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ummm 6 is pretty key for ANY christian...
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From:new_iconoclast
Date:August 25th, 2006 08:30 pm (UTC)
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Why would I laugh at the notion that the children of God can grow up to be like their heavenly parent? See Matt. 5:48; Rom. 8:16-17 among others.
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From:herbaliser
Date:August 25th, 2006 08:32 pm (UTC)
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i was referring to the jesus bit.
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From:risawn
Date:August 26th, 2006 03:19 am (UTC)
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"We claim the privelege of worshipping all mighty God according to the dictates of our own conscious, which allows all men the same privelege; let them worship how where or what they may."

11th Article of Faith

Actually, most of these don't really apply to me, must not be a fundamentalist Christian. Am Mormon though. . .
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