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March 23rd, 2007 - Open Knowledge

Mar. 23rd, 2007

12:04 pm - Other People's Money

Via Newmark's Door. Larry the Liquidator's speech to the shareholders at the end of Other People's Money. I'd love to find a clip of this.


This company is dead.

I didn't kill it. Don't blame me.

It was dead when I got here. It's too late for prayers. For even if the prayers were answered and a miracle occurred . . . and the yen did this and the dollar did that . . . and the infrastructure did the other thing, we would still be dead.

You know why?

Fiber optics. New technologies. Obsolescence.

We're dead, all right. We're just not broke.

And do you know the surest way to go broke?

Keep getting an increasing share of a shrinking market. Down the tubes. Slow but sure.

You know, at one time there must have been dozens of companies making buggy whips. And I'll bet the last company around was the one that made the best goddamn buggy whip you ever saw.

Now, how would you have liked to have been a stockholder in that company?

You invested in a business, and this business is dead. Let's have the intelligence--let's have the decency--to sign the death certificate, collect the insurance, and invest in something with a future.

"But we can't," goes the prayer. "We can't, because we have a responsibility, a responsibility to our employees, to our community. What will happen to them?"

I got two words for that: who cares?

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12:34 pm - Flying Monkey Dogs

Greens frequently complain about loss of species diversity. But you know, the minute some scientist announces he's genetically engineered a flying monkey-dog, it's gonna be whine, whine, whine.

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