March 21st, 2007


Jury robs cop-frosted tart

Via smjayman.

An Irvine cop ejaculates on a motorist but escapes criminal liability
Thursday, February 8, 2007 - 3:00 pm
Officer Park: put your hands behind my back

No one disputes that an on-duty Irvine police officer got an erection and ejaculated on a motorist during an early-morning traffic stop in Laguna Beach. The female driver reported it, DNA testing confirmed it and officer David Alex Park finally admitted it.

When the case went to trial, however, defense attorney Al Stokke argued that Park wasn’t responsible for making sticky all over the woman’s sweater. He insisted that she made the married patrolman make the mess—after all, she was on her way home from work as a dancer at Captain Cream Cabaret.

“She got what she wanted,” said Stokke. “She’s an overtly sexual person.”

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This American Lie: Is David Sedaris telling the truth?

A midget guitar teacher, a Macy's elf, and the truth about David Sedaris.
This American Lie

by Alex Heard
Post date 03.14.07 | Issue date 03.19.07

Illustration by Alex Gross

qThe events described in these stories are real," humorist David Sedaris wrote in the introductory note to Naked, his 1997 collection of nonfiction essays. The New York Times was convinced: When Naked hit the best-seller list, it categorized the book as nonfiction. The Library of Congress called it biography, and Sedaris assured several interviewers over the years that the book was essentially factual. "Everything in Naked was true," he told the webzine GettingIt in 1999. "I mean, I exaggerate. But all the situations were true."

Great. Except that some things in Naked aren't true, even if you allow for an extra-wiggly definition of "exaggerate." Start with the story called "Dix Hill," in which David is a 13-year-old on summer vacation in 1970. His acerbic (and now deceased) mom, Sharon Sedaris, decrees that he has to volunteer for a job somewhere. Since David is an eerie little guy, he casts his gaze toward the state mental hospital on the south side of his hometown, Raleigh, North Carolina. "Dorothea Dix Sanitarium," Sedaris informs us, was a bizarre madhouse marked by "a bleak colony of Gothic buildings" and trees whose limbs "resembled the palsied fingers of mad scientists tapping against the windows in search of fresh brains."

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Movie minute: 300, The Host, Daywatch

Saw 300 with Bill Polson and tdj over the weekend. Big, dumb, action flick. Expect groan-worthy dialogue, cartoonish characters, and illogical behavior. However, it delivers topless hunky men engaged in hand to hand combat in spades.

The Host is like "Little Miss Sunshine meets Godzilla". Recommended.

The trailer for Daywatch is out. I thought its predecessor, Nightwatch, was a very well done Russian vampire flick. So I'm looking forward to the sequel.