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April 4th, 2006 - Open Knowledge — LiveJournal

Apr. 4th, 2006

02:46 am - The Lying Weasels Party: We'll tell you whatever you want to hear.

You know those bums on the corner with the signs that read "Why lie, I need a beer?" Although it's overplayed now, the first time I saw that sign, I chuckled. I might have given the bum a dollar except I really wanted some gum that day.

I wonder if something similar could work in politics.

Therefore, I'm announcing the start of a new party: The Lying Weasels party.

The Lying Weasels platform is simple. We only guarantee two things are true: we will lie shamelessly, and we will enrich ourselves at taxpayer's expense.

Here's our stand on the issues:

Will we increase Social Security payments. No Granny Left Behind!
Will we raise taxes? Never!
Will we cut government spending? Get a job Granny!
Will we inflate the currency? Our currency will be as hard as The Rock on Viagra.
Will we open the borders? Yes, it's the right thing to do.
Will we secure our borders? Yes, gotta keep the Bad Guys out.
Will we support government research into oil alternatives? A solar car in every garage!
Will we allow oil drilling in Anwar? Pump those suckers!
Will we save the whales? Everyone one of them!
Will we club baby seals? With gusto!
Will we bring our troops home? Tomorrow!
Will we bring Democracy to Iraq? We're staying until the job is done.

You get the picture.

If someone complains that we didn't fulfill our compaign promise to actually, you know, lower government spending, we'll just whack them with a rolled up newspaper and point them to our party platform.

Change my name to "None of the Above", and by God, I'll be the next president.

05:44 pm - War time , peace time

In wartime, a nation needs manpower. People to tote supplies, man the ships, manufacture the weapons, soldiers to fight.

Thus, blockading allied troops, and supplying enemy troops are both considered acts of war.

During WWII, Mexico provided 100,000 workers to the U.S. to alleviate labor shortages in the fields and railways. If Germany had tried to prevent those Mexicans from working in the U.S., it would've been considered an act of war.

In peacetime, a nation needs manpower. People to pick the vegetables, man the shops, manufacture the cars, guards to protect.

Yet, in peacetime, we blockade ourselves from millions of would-be Mexican workers.

To paraphrase Henry George, why do we do to ourselves in time of peace, what our enemies seek to do to us in time of war?

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