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What does "successful" mean to you? - Open Knowledge — LiveJournal

May. 14th, 2003

11:24 am - What does "successful" mean to you?

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When women describe the kind of man they would like to meet, they often use the term "successful". As in "I'd like to find a man who is smart, witty, successful, and buff...."

The term seems to be shorthand for "paid higher than average" and/or has a high status job (ceo, doctor, professor, high-level manager). Is this accurate?

If so, how much money would it take for you to regard a man as "successful"? If successful means something different to you, how do you define it? Feel free to respond anonymously, as I don't log IP addresses.

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From:(Anonymous)
Date:May 14th, 2003 08:39 am (UTC)
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I've never had a set idea in my head as to the kind of man I wanted, but i think i would consider 'successful' to mean more like 'not working at mcdonalds.'
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From:hjcanning
Date:May 14th, 2003 08:40 am (UTC)
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I think in general, successful means "Making a lot of money."

To me, it means something more like "genuinely happy" - with life, work, whatever.
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From:ex_nostradom25
Date:May 14th, 2003 08:54 am (UTC)

Hell, this is easy.

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"Successful", to me, means that he doesn't live with his mom and is able to support himself and his own pad. He has sensible financial values, like... he knows rent is coming up and decides to forgo the Sea Doo, etc. He also has his own car, which hopefully he paid cash for and isn't asshole deep in debt to try and impress people he doesn't know. Credit and debt is the way, in my opinion, that we enslave ourselves. I would prefer that the dude have a firm grip on the future and delayed self-gratification, not "I gotta have that right NOW, I'll pay for it later and I don't care how much it costs". This also includes the numerous rationalizations that people use to spend money they don't have on things they don't really need. I am not attracted to mindless consumers. But also not attracted to guys that keep all these POS cars around thinking they'll do something with them. Maintaining a sustainable existence; not at the mercy of debt, nor at the mercy of belongings. That, to me, is successful.
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From:ilwitchgrrl
Date:May 14th, 2003 10:32 am (UTC)

Re: Hell, this is easy.

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I just want to say ditto to this, because it pretty much was what I would have said. :) I'd also like to add that successful means 'not a slug', to me - I'd like someone who has a little drive for life and wants to do more than just be a couch potato. Combine the above answer with kitiara's answer, and you have my answer. :)
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From:allisten
Date:May 14th, 2003 08:55 am (UTC)
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Successful means that they are more knowledgeable than myself.
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From:ex_cubetoo915
Date:May 14th, 2003 02:50 pm (UTC)
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Knowledgeable about what?
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From:sweet_evil
Date:May 14th, 2003 08:57 am (UTC)
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Successful to me implies that they have managed to find their niche in life... and in work. As long as they are stable and happy in their job - with the ability to pay all of their own bills, and have a little left over for dinner or flowers once in a while I'm cool. Of course it never hurts for them to have a nice place/car... but it's not necessary.

Heh, I'm in a field that pays REALLY low - so someone starts looking successful to me at $30-35K. :)
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From:leslieerin
Date:May 14th, 2003 09:00 am (UTC)
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Ok, I'll bite :)

To me, someone who is successful is someone who has their life together on all fronts. A strong career path, though that wouldn't necessarily be high-paying. Someone who knows how to manage their money is more important than someone who makes a lot of it. Someone who knows what makes them happy and has taken steps to get there, whether that be with education, a job, a hobby or outside interest, whatever. Also, someone who has at least an idea of what they want in the future, whether it's the traditional marriage-kids-house-career thing or not. I need to know that I fit into their vision of the future and vice-versa.

I won't lie, money is somewhat important. When I was 18 I dated a guy who was so broke I constantly had to pay for all our dates. I was *not* impressed. And I would stay away from someone who couldn't hold down a job. But I would have no problems dating someone who is, for example, a teacher or a police officer, professions that don't exactly pay high salaries, but they are nevertheless career-track jobs.

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From:zapevaj
Date:May 14th, 2003 12:38 pm (UTC)
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Not much to add here, just a vote of agreement. It's possible to be successful and still not make a lot of money, as long as it's something you really love doing (say, carpentry or welding).
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From:ladyfirebird
Date:May 14th, 2003 09:22 am (UTC)
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Successful to me means financially independent and spending the majority of their time doing something they choose/enjoy to do. Successful to me means having a realistic outlook on life and understanding all of its flexibility. Successful to me means in a position to create the world he desires to create for himself.

Note the lack of dollar figures here. :) I've never understood rating people by education attained or money earned. I do attach a lot of value to intelligence but there are lots of different ways to manifest that quality.
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From:almond_tiger
Date:May 14th, 2003 09:26 am (UTC)
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The term seems to be shorthand for "paid higher than average" and/or has a high status job (ceo, doctor, professor, high-level manager). Is this accurate?

Not to me, though I admit my point of view may not be the average one. To me, successful is the opposite of that guy (or girl) you knew who could have done a lot but just didn't, stayed at home too much or didn't follow his/her dreams, or basically just didn't take opportunities. They don't have to be rich or powerful - just really attempting something, and living rather than watching life go by.
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From:jenny
Date:May 14th, 2003 09:36 am (UTC)

My Interpretation

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Successful:

1. Opposite of unsuccessful, aka "a loser";
2. Multiple implications, including but not limited to: maintains a job he/she enjoys, makes a profit at said job, can consistantly sustain themselves financially (everyone needs some help sometime).

Does not imply: being wealthy, maintaining a high status job.
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From:joyce
Date:May 14th, 2003 09:57 am (UTC)
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able to take care of their own shit, whether they make 100k a year or 10k. :) responsible. i don't care how much money he/she/it makes, if i have to buy dinner every single time we go out, and they can't pay their bills, and complain about it, and then go out and buy books/games/whatever, i'm going to be irked.

ahem. sorry. i'll get off the beentheredonethat soapbox. :)

responsible and happy with what they're doing. if that's toeing the counter at McD's, but they love what they do and can take care of their responsibilities, that's good enough for me.
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From:kittles
Date:May 14th, 2003 10:07 am (UTC)
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I want him to have some sort of goal and ambition, someone who is not content with the status quo. I'm not necessarily looking for the one who makes the most money so much as the one who knows how to live within his means. I don't need a rich mate - his money is his and mine is mine after all, but I do like a man with purpose.
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From:athena007
Date:May 14th, 2003 10:14 am (UTC)
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I've never once said "successful" when describing the kind of man they would like to meet. I mean hell, I'd take Yony and he's a sub-teacher right now, he doesn't have a pilot job, he lives in an apt and will soon be floating about the country, and his car is a piece of shit... I'll take him.
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From:(Anonymous)
Date:May 14th, 2003 10:45 am (UTC)
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Success may be measured by the number and hotness of women that a man fucks over his lifetime. Success may also be measured biologically by how much he spreads his genes around and how successful those are over time.
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From:onderzoeker
Date:May 14th, 2003 10:56 am (UTC)
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"Successful," to me, does not have a salary amount attached to it, either. If a man is successful, he is financially independent and responsible with his money to be able to afford some extras, not living paycheck to paycheck. He knows what he wants in life, has goals, and is actively pursuing them; these goals are not just job-related, but include personal relationships as well. To me, he does not have to have a college degree, but he has to have some sort of motivation, not just sitting around and doing whatever he can just to get by. Successful to me means that he is happy and feels fulfilled in the decisions he has made in his life.
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From:ex_cubetoo915
Date:May 14th, 2003 02:49 pm (UTC)
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Well, since you're not logging IP addresses, I suppose I will answer.

To me, it means doing what you want more of the time than not.

Bring. It.
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